Donnis - Over Do It

When it's not making everything better, it's making you fall asleep way too early.

Stack that Paper

When adults get old and hate their spouses, the only thing that matters to them is money, internet porn, or Twilight. When you don’t have hair, let’s face it, your options get verylimited.

If you think I’m talking to the dudes, you are wrong. I am talking to you bald bitches. When you tease that shit on your head to look like cotton candy/insulation, us dudes notice. And throw up.

It’s what keeps us looking so trim.

Let me be clear - buying babies on the black market is not funny. Ever.

Let me be clear - selling babies on the black market is funny. Always.

“Is this _______ cruelty free?”

NWA - Fuck tha Police

White people are no strangers to fucking up black cultural references, which is why I brought my beretta to go shoot hoops with my homies. Now they’re dead and it’s all my fault.

Someone should make an Urban Dictionary app that just records my conversations and translates into my native tongue (Cauc Talk) so no more blood is shed.

Only Bangs Can Judge Me.

H1N1

You: “Aw Mike, seriously? How can you make fun of a girl who’s life is now ruined by a crippling neurological disorder? How do you sleep at night?”

Me: “Soundly.”

Watch her here if you’ve been under a rock.